The Emotional Rollercoaster of Buying Your First Home
If you’ve ever spoken to someone buying their first home, you’ll know it’s not just about interest rates, loan approvals, and property reports. It’s about hope, disappointment, excitement, nerves, exhaustion, and — eventually — a deep sense of relief and pride.
After helping many first home buyers through the process, I can tell you this: there’s no secret hack to make it easy. But persistence? That’s the real magic.
“Don’t Get Emotional” – Easier Said Than Done
You’ll often hear advice like “don’t get emotional about a property.” And I get it — that’s solid advice in theory. But let’s be honest… how can you not get emotional?
You’re trying to imagine your life there. You're picturing where the couch might go, how the morning light hits the kitchen bench, or where the dog would sleep. This isn’t just a transaction. It’s a future you're stepping into.
And sometimes, to make the right decision, you need to visualise yourself living there. You need to picture what life would look like beyond settlement day. That vision helps you know whether a home is truly right for you.
The Journey Comes with Knockbacks
No sugar-coating it — it’s a journey. You might miss out on a home you loved. You might get outbid, get cold feet, or find something wrong in the contract. These things happen. They’re part of the ride.
But do you know what I’ve learned from every single first home buyer I’ve helped?
Not one of them has ever come back and said, “I wish I’d bought that house I missed out on.”
In fact, it’s almost always the opposite.
They look back and can’t believe how it all worked out — a better location, more space, a lower price, or a home that just “fits” better than what they thought they wanted at the start.
So, How Do You Ride the Rollercoaster?
Here’s where being prepared comes in — both practically and emotionally. A few ways to stay grounded through the ups and downs:
1. Minimise the Rollercoaster You Can Control
There’s a lot about buying a home that’s outside your control — like who else is bidding or how quickly a property sells. But the emotional rollercoaster can be massively reduced by sorting the things you can control before you dive into the market.
That means:
Getting your finance pre-approved
Understanding your borrowing power and repayment comfort
Knowing all the costs involved (stamp duty, legals, inspections, LMI, etc.)
Having a clear strategy around your deposit, loan structure, and buying power
Understanding how different sale types work (auction, private sale, offers closing)
Here’s what I see all the time: someone reaches out for a chat, and within days they’re already inspecting properties and thinking about making offers. That’s completely normal — excitement kicks in, and it moves fast.
But if you're still trying to work out your loan, crunch numbers, or get your head around how an auction works while also emotionally attached to a property... It's overwhelming. And that's where bad decisions or missed opportunities happen.
Being prepared ahead of time gives you the confidence to act quickly without panic — and helps you keep a clear head when the emotions inevitably rise.
2. Understand the Sale Type — and How to Play It
Not all homes are sold the same way. Some are auctioned. Some are private sales. Some are what we call “offers by” or “offers closing.” And each one requires a different mindset.
With offers by or offers closing, you’ve got to put aside the classic “how good would it be if we could get it for X” thinking. You’ve got one shot at it. Instead:
Do your research
Determine a realistic price range based on comparables
Ask yourself: What do I think it will go for? And what am I actually happy to pay for it?
A lot of buyers hesitate here.
Even when they know they’d be content paying a certain amount, they second guess themselves out of fear they might overpay. But if you’ve done your homework and know your number stacks up — not just emotionally but based on real value — then you’re likely right in the ballpark.
And when it comes to auctions — here’s the truth:
You can nearly always add 10% onto the upper end of the advertised price. That alone can save you the emotional rollercoaster of thinking you're close when you’re actually nowhere near.
But here's the upside: if you’re equipped and have a good understanding of the property’s value, you could be in a very strong position to buy confidently at auction.
One of my clients recently was prepared to pay 20% over the listing price of a property that was going to auction.
Sounds crazy, right?
But when we dug into the data — comparable sales, market demand, scarcity — the value was there. They ended up securing the home well within budget, and the bank valuation came in spot-on. (And if you know valuations, they will never come back more than you pay.)
The lesson? Most people in that auction room were likely shocked or disappointed. But my client walked away the winner — because they were equipped, informed, and had clarity.
It’s a fine line to determine your walk-away price, which is why having the right tools matters. There’s a lot of conflicting info out there, but a good broker should have access to detailed property reports — the kind that go beyond surface-level data and help you make confident decisions.
3. Keep Your Support Crew Close
Whether it’s your broker, a trusted friend, or a family member — have someone you can lean on who gets it. This journey is personal, and having steady support helps you keep perspective when emotions swing.
4. Expect to Miss Out (At Least Once)
This sounds harsh, but it’s real. And when you expect it, it’s less painful. Missing out doesn’t mean failure. Sometimes it’s just redirection to something better.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
Getting pre-approval? That’s a win. Going to your first open home? Win. Putting in your first offer? Massive win. Recognising the steps along the way helps you stay motivated and positive.
6. Don’t Want to Ride the Rollercoaster at All?
For some people, the emotional ups and downs of house hunting just aren’t appealing — and that’s completely fine.
That’s where a good buyer’s agent can make all the difference.
Instead of navigating open homes, price guides, negotiations, and contracts yourself, you simply define your goals:
Your budget
Your preferred location
The type of property that suits your lifestyle or strategy
Then you let them do the legwork.
A buyer’s agent will source properties (often off-market), analyse the value, negotiate on your behalf, and help secure the right home — with far less stress on your end. If you’re someone who wants to bypass the bulk of the rollercoaster and lean on expert guidance, this can be a smart option.
Final Thought: You’ll Get There
Buying your first home can feel like you’re climbing a mountain… until one day, you look back and realise how far you’ve come. And when the keys are finally in your hand? It all feels worth it.
So be persistent. Stay curious. And prepare well. The right home will come — and chances are, it’ll be even better than what you thought you wanted.
You can reach out via the contact form, or book a meeting.
